"Forever-ish."

Like any typical morning of this summer break, I'm on the couch, catching up on blogs while half watching/half listening to the Today show. I was pretty tuned out to be honest, until I hear them say two experts on love and marriage here to talk about Modern Love. And in that Modern Love segment, they began talking about divorce. And how most people don't necessarily want forever, but "forever-ish."

"Forever-ish."

Let me start off with saying, I am old-fashion, to a degree. I don't understand the "hook up" culture. I don't get this whole "don't get married until you're in your 30's" trend. And while I am all for you working your full time job and hiring a nanny to take care of your child (as that use to be me), my personal preference is to be a stay at home mom, and I don't see any need to judge a woman for option a or b. Or any of the above.

Marriage is suppose to last forever. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. Til death do us part.

Marriage is not "Oh, you lost your job. Let's get a divorce."

Marriage is not "You have cancer, let's get a divorce."

Marriage is not having a mid-life crisis and getting a divorce.


Please understand, I am a child of divorce. I completely understand that there are situations that come up that are not fixable. But I am also a firm, firm believer that you do whatever you can to fix your issues.

You put your pride aside. You check that ego at the door. You go to counseling. You go to church. You do whatever you need to do to make it work. You do not give it 72 days and not put a single ounce of effort into it.

Is that what this culture has really come to? Finding someone good enough, until someone better comes along? Or being okay with only spending a few years of our lives with one person, but as we change as a person, we'd rather find someone new?

Isn't that the whole point of marriage? To grow old with someone. To share experiences over all these years together. To be able to "tell your grandchildren" about those experiences someday.

I'm a planner. I like to plan the future and know what's going on. Truth be told, you can't plan your whole future out ahead of you. Who knows what's going to happen in the next year, let alone the next 20.  But you know what makes me feel better about it? Knowing I have the same partner by my side. Who knows me. Who knows my story. Knows my ins and outs. And knowing that when I feel we're in a rut, I'll have someone fighting for us just as hard as I will. Because forever, is down-right scary. But to me, "forever-ish" is even scarier.