..& baby makes three...

Can I tell you it still doesn't feel real to say that? That we're expecting a baby!

It is true, Baby Bean is due to arrive July 2015!

Sometimes I feel like there isn't much to explain about the "struggle" we've gone to, or how it's felt like a struggle for us. The biggest misconception we both had, was how easy it would be. And for some, it definitely is! For others, unfortunately it's not, and we landed right in the middle.

Our journey started over a year ago. My doctor did warn me it may be awhile between being on the pill for so long, and my endometriosis... but man, every month there was no visit and then the following negative test, it really started to take it's toll on both of us. Add in the negative ovulation tests every other week, and I was feeling really down about it. We started thinking of what if's, how much longer to wait, when to see a specialist, when to make more doctor appointments... and during that time, about 80 of our friends announced their pregnancies. Okay, fine. Not 80, but at least a dozen. Add in the number of blogger announcements and it seemed to get harder and harder as the weeks went on.

Fast forward to November. Since my blogging hiatus, our world has come crumbling down, and this was the first step in putting it back together.  It started with having to put down my brother's service dog, having multiple family members in the hospital, a busted pipe in our house and the unbelievable amount of damage it did, and ended with learning of a family member's terminal cancer results.

With everything going on, in all honesty, getting pregnant wasn't the first thing on my mind. We were stressed to the max, I also had a ridiculous November/December at work, and since things still weren't regular, it was a distant thought.

Until it wasn't. Because I was waking up at 3:30 absolutely starving, as if I hadn't ate all day. And then I was nauseous. As in, my only meal for a few weeks with saltines. And the dry heaving when I brushed my teeth? That was the biggest sign.  So then I started writing things down in my calendar, all my symptoms, all my feelings.

Thanks to "My Calendar" app, I had tracked for the last 2 weeks that my lady lumps were hurting something fierce. Putting a bra on those babies was enough to bring tears to my eyes.  And when I got out of the shower, I started noticing I looked "fluffier." I know, that sounds silly, but when you barely eat for two weeks, I was expecting to look thinner, not bigger.

I remember sitting at Mass on the 4th of December, and thinking, "Is there a baby in here? Give me some sign that things are turning around."  And something inside me said yes. But I couldn't take a test just yet.

I didn't want to be disappointed. And on top of that, I was going to be with family all weekend and knew there was no way I could keep that secret. So I figured, well, if I take a test sometime next week, I just suck up the results and focus in on the holidays.

After barely eating the following week, I raced home December 9th, and just decided to do it. And low and behold, less then a minute later, "PREGNANT. 3+ weeks."

Holy crap.